This is impossible to make up.

It seems like yesterday that Subaru created Subaru Tecnica International to promote its performance-oriented identity, particularly in the World Rally Championship. The Subaru World Rally Team has taken motorsport by storm since its inception in 1988. It brought the Impreza WRX to the podium in its first year.

It’s a great run for STI. The WRX STI nameplate is now one of the most sought-after all-wheel drive sedans on the market. Subaru would surely celebrate this momentous occasion in an equally spectacular way, it seems.

Well, we’re wrong.

Subaru Japan has created a teddy bear with a variety of tasty treats to commemorate STI’s three decades. This is not a joke, my ancestors. We wish we could be funny, but we aren’t.

You can now purchase a four-inch red teddy bear from Subaru Japan’s website. It comes with a charcoal shirt and STI logo, and costs just 4,212 yen (includes taxes) or $37 at current exchange rates. If you are wondering why the bear holds a spoon, it is because the anniversary bear comes with five Japanese Curry packets.

Subaru stated that the set curry was a vitality source for the STI team, which you can take with a literal grain of salt. You can also purchase a special Curry Spoon for around $19, or a commemorative T-Shirt with the words “CURRY IS THE POWER” at a 5,090yen (around $45) cost.

Although there aren’t any details on shipping methods or rates, considering the delicious Japanese cuisine, we are actually considering getting one. To celebrate 30 years of STI.